Oct 4, 2022 – Uncle Sam Sees a Shrink by Ben Grosscup
So what brought me here, shrink
Is I started to think
That perhaps I’ve gone into decline
I almost forget
When the sun never set
On countries whose rules I defineMy unrivaled power
Meant nations would cower
And help my vast wealth to accrue
If one wasn’t supine
Or they got out of line
Well, I’d just take them out in a coupAnd I have, by far, the most nuclear warheads
Each one is on trigger alert
My hundreds of foreign bases are spread
To maintain the control I exertSo doctor, help me. I can’t understand
Why wielding this power feels pointless and bland
Even with all my arms, my wealth, and grandeur
I still feel so insecureAnd be frank with me, please
I’m down on my knees
Your words come with weighty credentials
Why am I in this pain?
Can you help me regain
The status of being essential?It just makes me irate
When erstwhile client states
Demand that I honor their borders
I feel anxious and sick
Check the Diagnostic
Manual of Mental DisordersHey Doctor,
What’s the assessment at which you’ve arrived?
And where’s it explained in this text?
I’m paging up there right now in the DSM Five
[Spoken] For . . . what’s that section called again?]
The military industrial complex?
Hmmm . . .It says the symptoms are fraudsters and hacks
Win the biggest contracts
Building jet fighters and drones
Economies go down
In the cities and towns
Once lenders start calling in loansDoc, my global franchise
Runs on free enterprise
Your opinion has caused me frustration
Just help me to see
All the threats facing me
Like the meddling done by foreign nationsOr do you mean to imply that the very armed forces
Key to the power I’ve known,
Empty me of my best resources,
And cause me to feel so alone?My consultants attested
That you were the best but
I clearly see now you’re a phony
I pay you too well
To be left in this hell
Of the stress that comes with hegemonyThis session has only made me feel more ill
And thrown your prestige into doubt
You should have known I’m a shining city on a hill
We’re done now, and I’m walking outE-MAIL NEWSLETTER SIGN UP
“Uncle Sam Sees a Shrink” by Ben Grosscup
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Day: October 4, 2022
Zelensky Signs Decree Ruling Out Peace Talks With Putin as ‘Impossible’
By Dave DeCamp, October 4, 2022
Zelensky says talks could only be held with Russia when there’s a new president
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky on Tuesday signed a decree that ruled out any talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin, declaring they would be an “impossibility.”
Zelensky Signs Decree Ruling Out Peace Talks With Putin as ‘Impossible’
DEA Admits ‘Racial, Ethnic and Class Prejudice’ Led To Drug Criminalization And The Agency’s Own Founding
The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is acknowledging the fact that racially discriminatory drug laws are partly responsible for the agency’s own founding.
DEA Admits ‘Racial, Ethnic and Class Prejudice’ Led To Drug Criminalization And The Agency’s Own Founding
DOJ, Senate Leader Continue To Stoke Irrational Fear That Drug Dealers Are Targeting Kids With Multicolored Fentanyl
People who fail to understand the basics of supply and demand continue to insist suppliers want to kill potential customers.
DOJ, Senate Leader Continue To Stoke Irrational Fear That Drug Dealers Are Targeting Kids With Multicolored Fentanyl
The DEA is just looking for more 💰 for the idiotic war on drugs! Most likely, they’ll just imprison more people for nonviolent offenses!
Former US President Jimmy Carter Believes US 🇺🇸 Love For W@r Is Holding Them Back From Developing
The Onion Files Hilarious Amicus Brief In An Important Case, And Actually Makes A Key Point In The Best Way Possible
from the put-the-onion’s-editorial-board-on-the-supreme-court dept
Tue, Oct 4th 2022 10:45am – Mike Masnick
In most cases, it does not do you any good to try to be funny in legal filings. In most cases, judges will not be that amused (even if those same judges sometimes try to make jokey rulings). In the world of the courts, the judges can be funny, but no one else should try. But every so often it works. The ACLU’s Eat Shit, Bob filing, for example, was pretty good.
The Onion Files Hilarious Amicus Brief In An Important Case, And Actually Makes A Key Point In The Best Way Possible
H/T: Steve Lehto
Related:
The man who wrote the Onion’s Supreme Court brief takes parody very seriously
Ohio Man Arrested and Prosecuted for Facebook Joke Appeals to Supreme Court
Biden Calls On Any Spirits Of Dead Lawmakers Present To Make Themselves Known After Jackie Walorski Doesn’t Answer
More Conclusive Evidence that TPLF’s “Under Siege” Narrative is a lie — and that the UN is helping to peddle it
As reported in August, Tigray has had limited telecom and Internet access for some people in the region at least as far back as early May. Many sources have since confirmed they’ve received regular emails, Whatsapp and Twitter messages from contacts in Tigray for a period of at least the past 10 months.
More Conclusive Evidence that TPLF’s “Under Siege” Narrative is a lie — and that the UN is helping to peddle it
Nation In Mourning As Government Shutdown Averted
U.S. – Americans are mourning today after the Senate announced they have agreed on a deal to continue funding the government for a few more months.
Nation In Mourning As Government Shutdown Averted
Coast Guard Hero Praised By Biden For Saving Lives After Ian Facing Discharge Over COVID Jab Refusal
President Joe Biden personally thanked a Coast Guardsman for saving a 94-year-old woman in the aftermath of Hurricane Ian, but the hero expects to be fired within days for rejecting the COVID vaccine.
Coast Guard Hero Praised By Biden For Saving Lives After Ian Facing Discharge Over COVID Jab Refusal
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