I nearly forgot—I had submitted one of my poems to Mad in America. That was before I learned they’d received funding from Open Society Foundations for their podcast. When an email arrived saying they’d published my piece, I was completely caught off guard—I hadn’t expected them to accept it at all.

It feels hypocritical, considering how often I expose the money behind nonprofits. The poem itself was an intensely personal reflection on my recent mental health struggles—something raw, vulnerable, and unfiltered. For the record, I received no compensation for submitting or publishing it.

At the time I submitted it, I didn’t realize their connection to Open Society Foundations—but it’s something I have to reckon with. I want to be upfront with my readers, so I’m exposing myself here—not just the contradiction, but the process of coming to terms with it. I’ve made mistakes—ones I can’t take back. And as much as I wish I could rewrite certain choices, all I can do now is face them.