Today is World Kindness Day, and I’ll admit I haven’t felt like a particularly kind person lately. There are times when repeated, intentional hurt from others makes your capacity for kindness feel finite and depleted.

However, a memory recently reminded me of what true, unconditional kindness looks and feels like: I was once in tears at the Walmart checkout, embarrassed and panicked because both my debit card and checking account had failed (my bank was down). I needed groceries. The stranger behind me stepped up and paid for my entire bill. When I tried to get her information to repay her, she simply said: “Pay it forward.”

I’ve taken that mantra to heart, and tried to honor that promise in various ways:

• An anonymous donation to a family who lost everything in a house fire.
• Donating my late brother’s clothing to the local homeless.
• Recently contributing to a local pizzeria that was giving free meals to people whose SNAP benefits were suspended during the shutdown.

But kindness doesn’t always require a financial or physical donation. It can be a genuine smile, a supportive comment on someone’s blog post, or simply choosing empathy over judgment. I’d like to believe most people have that capacity for kindness within them.

This brings me to a quote by Emma Goldman, which I find especially relevant today:

“The motto should not be: Forgive one another; rather understand one another.”

Instead of focusing on the potentially condescending act of “forgiving,” Goldman advocated for the deeper work of understanding. True kindness isn’t about absolving past wrongs; it’s about leading with empathy and striving to understand the complicated humanity in others—and in ourselves.

Thank you, P.J., for your support!