I briefly thought the universe had finally handed me my very own “pretty young thing” when this spam text slid into my phone. I’ll admit, my hopes took a tragic hit when I learned she “doesn’t accept rough sex.” Truly devastating.

Naturally, I Googled my mysterious admirer… and voilà. She’s an AI model. Not even a creative scammer—just a recycled digital face with 30,000 people already drooling over her.

This is all just for laughs. Please resist the urge to join the fan club; the world already has plenty of people in committed relationships with their chatbots.