Veterans Day was yesterday. My father served in the Navy during the Vietnam War, while his father earned a Bronze Star Medal and Purple Heart for his service in the Army during World War II. I have cousins and uncles who also served in the Marines. My grandmother maintained a shrine of sorts for all her sons and grandchildren who served, none of whom lost their lives in war. Despite this, I’ve never told any of them, “thank you for your service.”

Since the September 11th attacks and the ensuing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the phrase “thank you for your service” has become a ritualized expression. Author Ellen Moore interviewed veterans to gauge their feelings about this phrase. Responses ranged from gratitude to outright disdain. Many veterans felt that hearing this phrase from strangers—who knew nothing about them beyond their military status—came across as a mere platitude, an expectation of civility rather than genuine appreciation. Others worried that it served as a way for society to avoid deeper conversations about the wars and the profound impacts they have on those who fight.

Like many veterans returning from combat, my father struggled with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). We never discussed his experiences in the Navy. The only glimpses I have into his service come from snippets I overheard and the official papers I received after his passing. I’m not entirely sure why my grandfather received his Purple Heart, except for a mention that his jeep hit a landmine. I once owned that medal until I had it professionally repaired and eventually gave it to one of my uncles after my grandfather died. Now, I regret not keeping it for myself.

Consider the propaganda used to mislead us into wars: the portrayal of Maduro as the leader of a drug cartel, claims about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction, the genocide in Srebrenica, and the Gulf of Tonkin incident. The list goes on. Smedley Butler openly acknowledged that he acted as a “gangster for capitalism.” Many young individuals enlist in the military, often driven by the promise of benefits or the pressures of poverty. My own father was drafted. So what should I say? Should I apologize for a system that forces military service to be the only pathway to affordable healthcare or education? Do I express regret for those who were deceived into fighting the so-called war on terror under false pretenses? Or for the fact that Kennedy failed to end the Vietnam War when he had the chance? Finding the right words is challenging, but “thank you for your service” feels inadequate.

To those who have served and are now actively dispelling the myths that lead us into conflict, to the veterans who advocate for peace and challenge the narratives of war, I salute you. Your courage to speak out and seek a better path is invaluable, and it reminds us all of the importance of critical dialogue in shaping a more just and peaceful world.